I was cited in an academic book!

So I was googling my username, and on like the seventh page of Google I found this: Kings of Greek Mythology by Burton Menomi. For whatever ungodly reason, he decided to cite the Wikipedia page about Odysseus, and include the names of every single user who’d edited the page up to that point. I don’t even know what edit I made, but now I can say my writings have been cited in an academic publication.

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Update: Went and checked my contributions history, looks like it was this sentence about Mrs. Dalloway. At least I wasn’t just fixing a missing comma or something.

 

That’ll go nicely with my other dubious achievements, which include ordained minister of the Church of Universal Lifeonly verified Overwatch player to level-up three times after a single match, winner of the first PvP duel in Legends of Equestria history, and the existence of this bizarre video that someone made to show how to (incorrectly) pronounce my username.

Happy New Year! I drew a box

Last year’s new year’s resolution was to give up sugar drinks and candy. I’ve been doing really well, and I’ve lost a bunch of weight. Down to 210, only ten pounds over what I’m supposed to weigh at my age, and this year I’m taking the next step and doing meal prep Sunday. I need to eat healthier, this is the only life I’m going to get, and I’m not going back to the chronic heart pains that used to haunt me since I finished undergraduate.

But this isn’t my New Years’ resolution: instead I’m spending it learning how to art good. Drawabox is an ongoing art lesson made by a programmer who wanted to apply the same practical and analytical coding mindset to learning art. I’m really attracted by that attitude, so my New year’s resolution is to make progress on drawabox every day. (It was originally 1 lesson a day, but the website stresses that you shouldn’t put solid deadlines and schedules, and instead just focus on never falling completely off the boat.)

That being said, I blitzed through the first lesson because I’m not a complete newcomer to art. It was entirely drawing lines, something I’ve been doing in the margins of my schoolnotes since first grade. I was working in pencil right up until the part where he mentioned you’re supposed to work in pen, and it’s in a lined spiral notebook because I don’t have a sketchbook at my parent’s house. You’re supposed to turn your work into the subreddit, but I’ll redo the lesson on proper blank paper tomorrow and turn that in. I can’t properly do the work until I’m back home in Santa Clara.

But you nonexistant readers can still see it!

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WordPress keeps forcibly rotating the image. It’s oriented properly when I upload it, I promise

 

Seriously took me like five minutes. The hardest part was the “ghosting” lines, where you place two lines and then draw a line connecting the two. I’ll put in more time tomorrow, this is really just to get the ball rolling. No time like the first of January, right?

Nearing the end of the beginning

This isn’t a dev diary, this is just me talking to me. Cause I’m not sure who else to tell this to.

The first quarter in my Game Design masters is wrapping up. The big thing on everyone’s mind is the Greenlight pitch. Every student needs to pitch their idea for an awesome game to a team of industry professionals, and five of those ideas will be selected and turned into next quarter’s projects. Everyone’s pretty excited with their ideas, and I’m…not.

Don’t get me wrong, I’ve loved every part of this program. I’ve learned all sorts of things, and while the workload has been steep, it’s reinforced that game design is my true passion and my calling at this stage of my life. But I’m drawing a complete blank on anything to pitch for the Greenlight, and there’s no real point lying to myself…I’m hoping I don’t get picked. I don’t want to be selected. I want to work on someone else’s project as a writer, do my job and keep my nose out of other people’s business.

I’m well aware that’s not the right attitude going into the most important pitch of the quarter, and I’m not sure how to break it. I’ve confessed this to my parents and the program director, and both reminded me of what I already know: this is an opportunity that won’t come around once I’m part of the greater games industry. I’ve got a whole career ahead of me where I’ll be making other people’s games, I need to seize this opportunity to make something I’ve always wanted to.

But I already make whatever I want. The internet is littered with hundreds of my games, articles, GIFs, scripts, and videos. There’s no secret dream project I’ve always been fantasizing about, because I just go ahead and make anything I’m thinking of. And the ones I haven’t made yet are all solo projects because that’s how I work best. Medical Necessity isn’t actually something I’m hoping wins; it’s my latest solo project framed as a ‘prototype’ because I can’t very well march up in front of the judges and go “Yeah, I got nothing.” I know it’s not stage fright; I love talking in front of a crowd. If only I could pitch for somebody else…

I guess in a way this is something of a comforting position. I can’t really lose if I’m hoping not to win. Part of me worries that I’m sabotaging myself, or lying to myself because I don’t want to face the prospect of losing, and I’ll regret this attitude after the Greenlight comes and goes, but we’ll just have to see. At the moment, I’m far more excited about the Ford pitch. The Just Us League is going to blow them out of the water.

dev diary #6

Prompt: Write about the week’s lecture and readings as they relate to your project 
– Write about this week’s industry guest speakers (if any)
-Write a description of your progress (both positive and negative) on your current project
– Must include at least one piece of media:
GIF, link to video, screenshot, sketch, etc.

This week’s reading was on the genesis of new ideas and the conceptualization of those ideas into a playable prototype. I confess we don’t have a lot of that, we’re making a pretty bog-standard point-and-click adventure game using inventory and password puzzles. Last dev diary I talked for a bit about how our game’s concept changed direction due to what the other teammates wanted to see in it; this week, that concept mostly just shrank to accommodate the looming deadline and projections on what we can realistically complete assuming everyone works at their current pace. I’ve had to remove a few different puzzle styles (physics puzzles and item-combination puzzles specifically) because I couldn’t realistically see us incorporating those mechanics by the end of next week. I’ve also spent a lot more time on the writing to make up for that, since it’s now the primary thing carrying the gameplay. To that end, the “Business/Cost Restrictions” column on page 182 was certainly the most relevant game design element to our work this week.

I’m kinda nervous about this project’s prospects. We’ve basically set things up so that I’m in charge of narrative and they’re in charge of programming. I’ve written/edited the entire script, descriptions for the inventory items, and sketched out the rough layout of the map. Now I’m locating sprites for the inventory items, and later I’m going to record all the lines for the main character’s voiceover during gameplay. I’m worried for two reasons (1) both of my groupmates seem to be okay with how much I’m dictating how this story is going to pan out, but this had made it almost impossible for me to incorporate their ideas into the storyline. In the past, I’ve always used other teammates’ ideas as an easy way to get them invested in the project, but even with prodding, Neither Nathan nor Eric seem to want to suggest anything, and are completely fine with whatever I come up with. But that leads to (2), I’m worried we aren’t completing the prototype fast enough. We’ve barely got a house rendered, zero completed puzzles, any only a few token item descriptions inserted into certain items. I can only hope that the project only looks barely started due to my lack of programming perspective, and they’ve actually completed all the hard back-end stuff so the remaining front-end elements will take less than a week. Neither of them seem worried and they assure me that we’re within expected timeframes, so I guess I’ll just keep doing my job and ensuring they have everything they need to do theirs. But I can’t but wonder if I’ve failed to setup enough investment on their part, and that’s leading to them working slower than they might if they saw their ideas more plainly visible in the story. I’m also worried that our pace isn’t leaving any room for playtesting. I have an unfortunate suspicion that we’re not going to have any time for anyone to play the ‘finished’ game until the day of the deadline. But since I’m not programming, and I’m ahead of schedule on my end, I’m not sure what I can do about that.

As the school year ticks along, I’m also spending more time thinking about the upcoming Greenlight pitch. Everybody I’ve talked to in the class already know what they’re going to pitch and are now in the development phase, but none of my ideas seem baked enough to really pitch. Part of it is my history of solo development and my inclination to avoid using anyone else’s assets. I always think small; I make sure the scope is limited enough that a single person can write, illustrate, animate, program, and debug the entire game from conception to completion. It’s surprisingly difficult to drop those filters and broaden my scope up to a team of 5-7 developers (with a third party art team) working for an entire quarter. I have project ideas that I’ve never made because they’re too large for one person, and I logically should be pitching one of those, but they’re all online multi-player and I was cautioned to avoid that genre. As per Erin’s suggestion, I’m going to sketch out a few of those online multiplayer ideas, figure out what design elements I like the most, and see if I can create a single-player idea that uses some of them.

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Layout mockups of the map and its puzzles. Every single tag has a narrated description the player will hear in-game when they click on it.

New Game! Zone Out

Zone Out isn’t the sort of game I normally make, but it’s also my first duo project!

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We were assigned an emotion, and our task was to create a game that conveyed that emotion. Can you guess what our emotion was?

Programming and sound design by pat. Sprites and level design by aabicus. Special thanks to MJ, Erin, and our playtesters at UCSC Silicon Valley!

dev diary #5

This project got off to an interesting start. Both of my groupmates were from Erin’s section, so I knew very little about them. Luckily they’re both programmers and they want me to be narrative designer, which means I can finally flex my writing muscles!

I’ve actually been meeting a lot of new people thanks to this prompt’s emphasis no narrative. Four other classmates serving as first-time narrative designers for other teams have already already seeked me out for advice fulfilling the position, so I feel good about my skillset specialty finally entering the program purview. On the other hand, at this early stage I’m the bottleneck because the programmers are forced to follow my pace. I had to nail down the plot/storyline/puzzles before they could implement them, and I probably cut it too close by only finishing that up Thursday night. That’s mostly why we didn’t have a Unity prototype to showcase for today’s playtest, but I’m glad the paper prototype I designed last night made up for it; the audience seemed to enjoy solving our opening puzzles using the map on the whiteboard and myself GMing their progress. Always nice when my old college job as a professional GM comes back into play.

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The paper prototype our initial playtesters played.

It seems like every project I re-learn the same lesson about the importance of considering and incorporating feedback from other group members. When I first designed our game’s narrative, I wanted the crime to be something that wasn’t immediately recognizable as a crime, since I didn’t want the player guessing at suspects while the player character is the only person in the game. The player character was to be trapped in their apartment, which was on fire, and the twist was that he had started the fire to collect the renter’s insurance. My teammates were lukewarm to the premise, and suggested a plot influenced by (honestly, wholecloth stolen from) Memento, where the amnesiac player character followed ominous tattoos on his body hoping to discover who had killed his wife. It was confusing and contrived, and I initially wanted to just pull rank and insist we use my plot. Luckily, I had a talk with Kelsey, an alumni from last year, and she helped me realize that my teammates had valid points to make about the core elements of our plot, even if the exact narrative they suggested was unusable. My teammates were trying to convey that they didn’t find arson a particularly exciting crime, and they desired an edgier plot where the main character had more to hide. These were valid criticisms, and on the production end, incorporating their ideas gave me a chance to increase their investment in the project. In the past I’ve found that teammates work harder and feel happier about the final product if they can see the direct influence they’ve had in its creation. With this in mind, I crafted a new narrative that used murder and the themes my groupmates were looking for, but was a workable story we could actually deliver. My teammates are much happier, and it’s honestly a better storyline than the one I’d made before.

Chapter 5 talked about system dynamics, discussing how the scope of the game changes as it gets more complex. Not only do simpler games like Tic-Tac-Toe have fewer elements than larger games like Magic the Gathering, but the elements they share between each other (win condition, turns, limited playspace) can be larger in one than the other. This is extremely important to keep in mind as our timeframes and our group numbers increase, and it’s gotten me worried about the scope of our project. My original plan had a single room (the apartment that was on fire), but my teammates thought the narrative was too short and specifically requested at least three rooms. I’m worried they’re making the classic beginner’s mistake of thinking too big and dreaming up project roadmaps that are too large in scope. My usual philosophy is to assume that I’ll need to spend half of my development time on post-process bugfixing and addressing unforeseen setbacks, so I always think small. We only have three weeks total to complete this project, and having multiple rooms adds an entire dimension to the camera, inventory, and movement systems. It exponentially complicates everything we’ll need to implement. But I’ve brought up these concerns already and they insist they can finish three rooms within the timeframe. Since they know the programming side far better than I do, I guess I just have to trust them.

dev diary #4

Prompt: – Write about the week’s lecture and readings as they relate to your project 
– Write about this week’s industry guest speakers (if any)
-Write a description of your progress (both positive and negative) on your current project
– Must include at least one piece of media:
GIF, link to video, screenshot, sketch, etc.

A few days ago we got an email about a one-hour UCSC seminar on Imposter Syndrome. I was planning to attend before I tried to find the location and realized it was happening on the main campus. Bummer. But that is an issue I feel I’m struggling with at this point in the program, most of it directly stemming from the difficulty I’m having with C++ and my overall fear of programming. I know it doesn’t look great that I’ve waited three dev diaries to start admitting that I’m halfway expecting to get kicked from the program, but there’s this massive C-shaped hole in my skillset that’s negatively affecting my ability to contribute meaningfully to the duo project or to complete my assignments on time for C++.

Pretty much the only thing I’ve done for the duo project is asset creation. I’ve created over a dozen animations and four dozen sprites to populate Tyler’s vision, and as Emily pointed out when she learned this, “the program isn’t testing for that.” You want programmers and Tyler has programmed the entire game on his own. It’s also his concept; as mentioned in my last diary, I decided to withdraw my suggestions on fields and music in favor of going with Tyler’s office space and basketball mechanics because both concepts were equally usable and I figured Tyler would do a better job programming something he was invested in. I don’t have access to Tyler’s dev diary so I have no clue whether he’s pleased with my level of contribution to the project, but he certainly seems pumped about things when we talk. I’m quite satisfied with him as a partner as he’s open to suggestions, flexible with reacting to setbacks, eager to overcome obstacles and an overall hard worker. While we’ve both contributed plenty of suggestions and design concepts to the game, and I’m very satisfied with the final project, I can’t help but feel I’m regressing into my lifelong habits of avoiding programming by filling the void with content creation. I should have taken advantage of the solo and duo projects to learn Unity, even if it would have resulted in substandard products, because the proficiency disparity between me and the other students will only grow as the program goes on.

It’s just so easy to let him do all the programming and insert myself into more of an asset-creation position because that’s playing to my strengths. I can crank out sprites (I don’t think they’re particularly good but Tyler insisted he wanted to use my artwork and not default assets so apparently they’re of adequate quality in everyone else’s eyes) and I don’t know Unity as well as he does, so it’s logical and easy to let him program. But I didn’t come to this Master’s program to learn sprite creation, and we’re going to have an entire University of San Jose to do that for us for the next project. I need to find a way to serve a useful role on a team, especially considering nobody’s games from any point in this quarter have required a writer.

This all boils back to my fear of programming, something that’s plagued the majority of my life. When I was 11, I couldn’t wrap my head around a month-long tutorial of DarkBasic, so I used Multimedia Fusion (nowadays called Clickteam Fusion) to make games. As an undergraduate, I briefly considered switching my major to Computer Science but a terrible experience in a C class squashed those plans and I continued using Clickteam Fusion for my portfolio projects. After graduating, I took an online Unity class but eventually gave up after six months had passed and I couldn’t program anything more complicated than a text-based adventure game. Even in this class, I chose to use Clickteam Fusion for my solo project when I probably should have created an inferior project in Unity. I feel like the metaphorical elephant who learned as a calf that he couldn’t uproot the stake tying him to the ground, so he remains rooted even as a 15000-pound adult who could easily escape that stake if he tried to.

This is the part where I’m supposed to tell you that I’ve tried my absolute hardest to learn C++. I know that’s Andrew’s opinion on himself, but I feel like I should (and could) have worked harder, instead of constantly distracting myself by putting 110% into my other homework assignments. I love every other class in this Masters’, but I bet if I’d spent less time creating sprites, writing 2-page dev diaries and pulling all-nighters on The Wolf and the Waves I could have probably learned C++ at the same time. Instead my vision just swims when I stare blankly at Visual Studio and I do something superfluous like programming Tic-Tac-Toe instead of Connect Four. I can see the massive potential of games programmed in C# and I’ve wanted that knowledge for years, and this degree is probably the greatest chance I’m ever going to get to learn it. If I fail now, I’ll forever regret losing this opportunity.

Our lectures and reading discussed how the game designer uses the formal elements of a game. As a sandbox-style game, “Explore” would probably fit best as our player’s intended motivation. We found that most players clicked on everything once they were bored of shooting paper balls, so we didn’t to worry as much about telegraphing what items had scripted actions tied to them. (We added a few for the Inbox anyway, since the player misses a huge chunk of the game if they don’t click it.) The thing about ‘Calmness’ is, we had to avoid most of the things that video games use to create challenge because challenge isn’t calming. Our player character has infinite resources, no objective, and no stress because otherwise the player might not feel calm. We didn’t even have a clear ending (everything fades away and you’re now relaxing in the Rockies with nothing to do) until the very last build; we intended to let the player sandbox forever but playtesters didn’t find it calming when the game never clearly ended!

Believe it or not, Andrew Corcoran’s lecture actually helped us in a major way. He discussed dynamically adjusting your game so that it catered to people with different preferences. Originally, we tied the “slacking off” mini-game as calming and the “working” event as neutral. After Emily playtested our game and had the opposite reaction to both mini-games, we realized that some people found work more calming than laziness. So we tied the calmness mechanic to the player’s progress in either mini-game. Now people can finish the game through whichever playstyle they prefer, just like Corcoran’s UI and menus cater themselves to the player.

end sprites

Dev Diary #3

Prompt: – Write about the week’s lecture and readings as they relate to your project 
– Write about this week’s industry guest speakers (if any)
-Write a description of your progress (both positive and negative) on your current project
– Must include at least one piece of media:
GIF, link to video, screenshot, sketch, etc.

Not gonna lie, I’m nervous. I’ve had bad luck with duo projects. I’m far more comfortable either doing everything myself, thus giving myself control of every part of the game creation, or working in a giant team of 40+ developers where I can serve as a tiny cog in a giant machine. Luckily, Tyler doesn’t look like one to fall into the normal problem where one teammate never does any work. He’s slightly coding-focused, (more than me at least) meaning he can bear the brunt of that element. He’s also proven open to hearing ideas while also suggesting his own, a great balance that too many people lack. I can suggest things and know that he won’t smother his own ideas and blindly accept mine, or alternately throw mine out in favor of his own without due consideration.

Our cooperative skills were put to the test almost immediately, when we initially couldn’t decide what angle to take the game. After we missed our emotion of choice and had to settle for Calmness, we both developed different ideas for how to tackle our new direction. He wanted to adapt our ‘Nostalgia’ ideas (a basketball-style minigame in an office setting with crumpled pieces of paper) into a form that emphasized the new emotion, whereas I wanted to scrap the whole angle in favor of a new setting that was tailored for calmness from the word go (a peaceful field where clicking objects adds different instruments to the background music). Ultimately we came to an agreement and decided to stick with doing his because my suggestion was lacking in several elements of what makes a game (more on this in the final paragraph of this diary). Tyler’s idea still works, even if it chose a less obvious setting; we’ll just need to succeed at establishing calmness through gameplay instead of aesthetics. Plus office supplies are quicker to draw than naturey stuff, and I’m singly responsible for all sprite creation so I need to work fulltime on that because nothing else can progress until we have assets to work with.

Update: I kicked ass on sprites tonight! We got all the core sprites now, I’ll work on including more of course, but for now we’re easily on the road for a working prototype come the Friday playtesting.

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The reading and lectures this week were mostly concerned with the elements of gaming as a medium, and they became very important in how Patrick and I chose which idea to go with. Particularly Objective and Conflict; my ‘nature-themed music generator’ idea lacked both of these core gaming elements, and for that reason wasn’t really selling itself as a completed concept. Tyler’s idea, with a stress meter and an element of time management, was more clearly a game by definition, and this factored heavily into why we ultimately chose his idea to move forward on developing.

 

Dev diary #1

Hey all. So, this master’s program is intense. I’m loving it, but it’s sapped a lot of my free time so I haven’t been updating this blog even though I’m learning tons of stuff and working on projects right and left.

So, since I’m already writing weekly dev diaries for one of the classes, I figured I could publish them here! With names changed to protect the innocent, of course.

Dev Diary prompt 1: Your assignment (should be no longer than one page):
– What do you hope to get out of the next 12 months in this program?
– What are you most excited to learn about?
– Is there anything you’re worried about?
– In your spare time, what kinds of games do you prefer to play?

GAME 270: PROTOTYPING is of the classes I’m most excited about when scrolling through the quarter’s itinerary. The C++ sounds terrifying and the art class sounds promising but I suspect it’s less about making art and more about intelligently choosing pre-existing assets, when one of my favorite parts of game development is creating all my own art. I have always operated under the philosophy of creating many tiny games to learn new mechanics, and so I look forward to this class pressing me to the limits of what I can accomplish in a short time.

I can even get behind the philosophy of writing these diaries. When I took a Unity course over the summer preparing for this course, I wrote a daily diary keeping track of what I’d learned that day. I was less focused on what I’d hoped to learn, since it was just Unity, but this time there are three major tiers of knowledge I hope to explore:

  1. Programming. I want to learn Unity well enough to make my own games on that platform. Other languages like C++ and Unreal I hope to master well enough to pass the courses.
  2. Game Design. As mentioned, I’ve made several games on my own, so I’m not a completely newcomer to the design aspect of games, but I have never been formally trained so this opportunity is an invaluable asset.
  3. Networking. The other kids in this program are driven, ambitious, and knowledgeable in this field. I’ve never met so many people my age that I can bond with like this class. I need to befriend as many as possible and nurture connections to help me break into the industry proper.

My biggest weakness is my lack of programming experience. I passed a C class in junior year of bachelor’s, and I’ve taken multiple online courses attempting to learn Unity, but I’ve never felt like I was doing anything but stumbling through those classes and aping the instructor. I want to be able to make Unity games with the same proficiency I can create games in Clickteam Fusion 2.5.

In my spare time I play multiplayer shooters like Overwatch, Left 4 Dead 2, and Team Fortress 2. I specialize in healers and support classes.

If I Were Mitch McConnell

(part 2)

Gonna veer off into political game theory, just because the Republicans have presented me with an unsolvable problem, and I love those.

Put yourself in Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell’s shoes. For 8 years you and your party have loudly opposed Obamacare. You’ve vowed to repeal it and replace it with something better, and when Trump got elected, you got your chance to accomplish your flagship promise. But you never actually wrote a replacement healthcare plan because nobody expected Trump to win. So now you go about drafting one, but it’s hard because Obamacare is already the most Republican healthcare plan conceivable, and that’s where Mitch’s replacement plan has been struggling. Everything he adds alienates either the hardcore Conservatives or the Moderate conservatives, and just yesterday two Republican senators came out and announced that they would oppose the bill. This puts Mitch’s support at 48/52 Republican senators, not enough to ram the bill through.

In a last desperate attempt, Mitch announced today that they would vote on repealing Obamacare and not replacing it with anything. They’ll just kill it and work out a replacement before the repeal goes into effect. Unfortunately, to nobody’s surprise Republican senators from all fronts are saying they’re not gonna go for that. Mitch has like two weeks to find a solution because he was abusing a loophole where he marketed the repeal as a “budget readjustment” (which requires only a majority of the senate to vote yes), since repealing Obamacare would lower federal costs. The time for voting on budget adjustments runs out in two weeks. After that, Mitch will have to work with his Obamacare repeal as a regular bill which will require 2/3ds of Congress, aka Democrat support (since Mitch only has 52 republicans in the Senate). My Democrat friends are crowing excitedly at the Republicans’ absolute failure to accomplish their goal, and my Republican friends are furious at their senators for failing to accomplish the one thing they’ve been adamant about doing for almost a decade. By all accounts, Mitch’s ship seems sunk. But I, safe in my knowledge that nobody reads this blog, think I’ve found a solution. Here’s what I would do in Mitch’s case:

I would ‘draft’ a healthcare bill that does X, call it “Republicare”, and urge my constituents to pass it. X is literally word-for-word what Obamacare currently does. They’d literally repeal and replace it with the exact same plan under their own name.

This would allow them to accomplish their primary goal: repealing ‘Obamacare’. After all, Obamacare is just a name, the healthcare bill itself is actually quite popular. My Republican friends are quite happy with the Affordable Care Act despite it being the exact same plan. Mitch’s base has proven that they almost entirely care about the optics of repealing Obamacare, so give them what they want. And you don’t even have to suffer the fallout of stealing healthcare from 22 million Americans. Now they can say “Ha! We repealed Obamacare! And now you can all enjoy healthcare courtesy of the Republican party!” Just ignore all the snickering Democrats, Mitch has never cared what they thought anyway.